I’ll never forget being 11 days overdue with my first baby, convinced I was going to be pregnant forever. (IYKYK!) I had tried all the tricks—eating dates, raspberry leaf tea, curb walks, spicy food, etc. Still, nothing.
And then, one day, exhausted, I took a deep breath and told myself, “He’ll come when he comes.”
Spoiler alert: he arrived in a very rapid fashion soon after.
Parenting Lesson #1: You are not in control.
Parenting Lesson #2: Raising kids is a never-ending process of letting go.
It turns out that farming offers many of the same lessons—except like an insane person, I apparently need to be reminded of this over and over again.
The Illusion of Control
I’ve been growing vegetables and flowers for 15 years now. I've learned more than I ever thought I would about timing, soil health, pest and disease management, succession planting, and all the million tiny decisions that make a farm tick.
But here’s the truth: I am still not in control. Mother Nature has a funny way of humbling you!
Take this spring, for example. Our zinnias—yes, zinnias, the easiest, most reliable, most beginner-friendly flower—completely failed in our first succession. We seeded, watered, gave them light, loved on them like we always do... and they rotted. "Damping off," it's called. We lost about 90% of them.
And then, there was the double row cover we carefully secured over our cool weather crops to protect them from a cold snap. A windstorm came through, whipped the covers away like tissue paper, and left half of the crop damaged beyond repair.
The Gift in the Chaos
These moments are hard. They’re frustrating. They test your spirit. But—if you’re open to it—they also hand you a gift.
The zinnias? We reseeded. We adjusted.
The crops that did survive the storm? They bloomed at the same time as others they’ve never overlapped with before...and the color combos were stunning. Something I never would’ve planned.
So here’s what I’m learning (again):
You can make the best plan. You can do all the “right” things. But in the end, you have to let go. Control is an illusion. And sometimes what blooms from chaos is more beautiful than anything you would’ve designed.
It’s a messy, beautiful, heartbreaking, hope-filled dance.
And for a type-A soul like mine, it's a lesson that is uncomfortable... but oh-so-useful.
Your Turn
What lessons has your garden taught you?
Where in your life are you learning to let go?
What new mindset are you walking away with this season?
I’d love to hear your story.